"Success in life largely comes down to the number of difficult conversations one is willing to have"
Don't become victims of ruinous empathy and obnoxious aggression
Kim Scott worked at Google and also served as a faculty at Apple University. She is the champion and originator of the phrase “radical candor” which forms the backbone and operating system for Network Capital.
Kim discovered radical candor from Sheryl Sandberg, the current COO of Facebook. She explains
“I had just joined Google and gave a presentation to the founders and the CEO about how the AdSense business was doing. I walked in feeling a little nervous, but happily the business was on fire. When we told Larry, Sergey and Eric how many publishers we had added over the previous months, Eric almost fell off his chair and asked what resources they could give us to help continue this amazing success. So... I sort of felt like the meeting went okay.”
Although the meeting went great, Scott’s manager at the time, Sheryl Sandberg suggested they take a walk. Sheryl first shared what she liked about the way Scott presented and appreciated the overall impact. Only towards the end she said that an area of improvement for Scott was to reduce the number of times she said “um” in her presentation.
Imagine that you have had great success at work and everyone is raving about what you did. Then your manager or partner comes up to you and gives feedback on a seemingly trivial point. Would you take it seriously? Perhaps not.
At least that is what Scott did when Sheryl said that Google could hire her a speaking coach. Scott listened but it was clear she wasn’t going to act on the feedback.
Finally, Sheryl said, ‘‘You know, Kim, I can tell I'm not really getting through to you. I'm going to have to be clearer here. When you say um every third word, it makes you sound stupid.”
Sheryl’s words can best be understood as radical candor. It is a situation when a person cares for your growth and simultaneously presents a direct challenge.
Scott has now devised an acronym to ensure that radical candor is expressed with the nuance it deserves.
HHIPP: “Radical candor is humble, it’s helpful, it’s immediate, it’s in person — in private if it’s criticism and in public if it’s praise — and it doesn’t personalize.”
In a high trust environment, radical candor works like charm. However, radical candor requires training. You first have to establish that you care for the person you are offering feedback to. Only after that can you expect to offer sharp critique and still manage to have a healthy relationship.
The diagram below explains Scott’s mental model. I hope you employ it with people you care about and wish to add tangible value to.
** To learn more about radical candor, keep following this thread on Network Capital Premium